Rambling

Ok so it is 2:43 in the morning, and I can't sleep...

So where do I turn, to a computer screen to ramble out the thoughts that are surpressing my brain into slumber. I dropped the kids off tonight at "the house" (I will call it) since for so long it has been my home yet now it has become Nicks home by himself. And the funniest part is he is doing all the things that I could never get him to do.. clean up after himself, change light bulbs that I could not reach, turn lights off everynow and then. It gives me a feeling of why could he not do that when we all lived there, i looked at our life as since I am working eight hours a day and then I am responsible for picking up, feeding, bathing, and putting to bed our children the least he could do was clean up after what I couldn't. He was home all day and went into work right before I got off. And yet would only was his clothes and still doesn't know where the toliet bowl cleaner is. And now he is acting like he has been a neat freak all his life..news flash buddy...it only means that you now have faced the fact that you are the only one to take care of you. It may sound mean to say but I hope my kids trash the place like they do here. I have to spend my weekend away from my kids cleaning up after my kids. how exciting is that...and try to relax before it is time to go back to work and start the week all over again...how's work you ask? It sucks, there is so many questions that are not being answered and so many concerns that are starting to escalate... there is a fear in me that we will get no end of year bonus which means that I have now busted my butt for nothing again.. and that i have to continue for at least 3 more months til i am out of a job...and i wonder why my chest is hurting me and i am in a state of depression that all i want to do is sleep and yet i can't....although i think i am finally getting sleepy... i had better go lay down before i start typing stupidly...i will be back it this doesn't work...